Beauty in the Dead of Winter

I few minutes ago I finished up a quick yoga session in my living room. I had the house to myself, which rarely ever happens. I had been feeling…different the past few days. I went from feeling uninspired and bland about life to waking up today with a new and different attitude. This feeling that started this morning was weird, yet comforting. I was excited, yet I felt restless. I felt alive, yet felt motionless. After a particularly long (but good) day I did a few quick moments of yoga to unwind.

As I finished a stretch, I suddenly was aware that I felt inspired, passionate and thankful all at the same time. Something inside me was stirring. I suddenly felt very warm and decided to step outside onto my back deck in my slippers and sweatpants. The cold air hit me, but it wasn’t a harsh cold even though the temperature gage read 11 degrees. The air hit me in a way that made my skin remember I was living.

For a brief few moments I didn’t hear a sound besides the echoing dark. I watched my breath float out of my mouth and into the night air. I took a deep breath in and felt the cool, crisp air fill my lungs. Blankets of white, dark snow mounds were silent all around me. I felt the wind on my checks and felt it blow my hair out of my face. I closed my eyes and felt the coolness touch my fingertips. I felt my spine supporting my body and my legs firm over my feet.  I breathed slowly and deeply, feeling the cold air all around me. I felt each rhythmed beat of my heart in my chest. I looked up into the velvet night sky and a sudden inexhaustible possibility filled me. We are so small in this world. People miles and miles away could be looking up at the same stars as me. Suddenly it didn’t matter. The office, the gym, the dinner talk, the mundane chatter, the constant emails and the buzzing of a cell phone. None of that matters. These thoughts filled my heart as I titled my head back and my entire vision was the single dark night sky above me. I wondered if heaven was right past the dark. It had to have been up there. I took another breath as the frozen air once again whipped through my mouth and into my lungs. I felt my spine start to shake from the cold and I could suddenly hear the faint roar of a snow blower in the background. I smiled as I looked out into my dark backyard. I could barely make out shadows of objects I knew were there in the day light. A sudden spark had been lite back up inside me and all I could think about was the possible passion we can possess if we simply allow ourselves to see it. Whether it’s taking the time for a quick yoga session, or a run, or a good book, we can return to a place where we find our inner fire again. My place was a crisp, dark look into the beautiful night sky to remind me that I am alive and that my breath in this world, along with those I love, is all that truly matters.

 

 

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